Life. So full of change, of growing, struggling, of reaching toward God.
The last months have dredged up so much of my past. The parts that still hurt the most. The parts that some days I about cannot bear the pain. But those months have also brought so much *healing*. God brought the healing. He showed me His LOVE for me as HIS DAUGHTER! Its been a beautiful (though intensely painful) process.
Because of circumstances, today I knew that no matter what, I needed time alone. Away from relating with so many people, away from trying to keep that strong front, time to spend with GOD. Those circumstances were beyond my control but God had it all planned before I ever came out here. There were times I thought I would just break apart and float away piece by piece or have a serious meltdown in a very bad time and place. See, last night was my last night on night-duty - I worked over 2 weeks with no break/day off. Talk about intense! And when one is on night-duty (at least I'm like this), one sleeps, goes to the evening activity, work - repeat... Day after day after day. And to have very little extra time is very wearing, esp if one does not take time to bask in God's presence every day - like me.
For a while I had been feeling very out of touch with God etc and I was [to be honest] rather distressed because I went through a season right before this where I felt His presence like crazy - like more than I have ever in my life. So I hit this rough patch at work feeling starved for God. Bottom line - not a good thing AT ALL!!!!
So today - my first day off for a while. I went shopping *by myself*. An amazing time indeed. On the way back stopped at a coffee shop and journalled for a bit and God led me to write down my blessings... Today was my day of Thanksgiving. Praising God that He got me through, praising Him for all the *tidbits* of happiness he brought my way.
Thanking Him for...
*A lady thanking me for a drink of water after an especially rough night of her not being able to sleep wanting to go in and out of bed constantly - every 5 minutes or so either pulling her alarm or using her call light
*That I don't have enough money to buy a $1,400 purse... True story - today I went into Coach (at the mall) just for the dumb of it, actually to see how expensive their purses are :P so I went through the story flipping all the price tags and trying not to allow my mouth to drop open (mennonite girl meets Coach and its extravagance) So that was the most expensive one I could find...
*God for providing for me financially... I had this bill that I wasn't sure went to pay off cuz I just didn't feel like I could and low and behold the other day I found an envelope with some cash and a check large enough to cover the bill and then some :D God had this one planned out before I came too *so amazing*
*Being done with night-duty and getting my life back
*The chance to go home (Tomorrow can't come soon enough)!!!
*That even in those moments of loneliness, that God is still there - even when I can't feel or hear Him
*A day off
*Alone time
*The intense struggles that God has brought me through - I'm stronger because of it and He has done so much I can't even get started!
*Situations (recently) where the words and actions coming from me weren't my own because God's grace came through in my weakness - literally! When all I wanted to do was get extremely frustrated and say all kinds of nasty things in reaction to the pain/frustration - God gave me the grace to let Him work through me. (don't think I've ever had this happen to me where I was in the middle of the situation and knowing that what was coming from my mouth was not of me - but God) Praise Him!
*Security in knowing that God has a plan for my life. All I need to do is rest in HIM! Worry doesn't accomplish anything!
Quote: There is a reason I am not writing the story (of my life) and God is. He knows how it all works out, where it all leads, what it all means.
May God bless you all with an amazing week filled with God's grace!
May you be able to live each day counting your blessings!
Until next time...
This Is Life
Look, I don't want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you're alive you've got to flap your arms and legs, you've got to jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death, and therefore you must at very least think noisy and colorfully, or you're not alive. -Mel Brooks
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
In the face of a storm....
I lift my hands and pray the wind doesn't blow me away.
This describes the last couple of months - in a teeny, tiny nutshell.
I realized the other day that its been a quarter of a year since my last post and I was quite shocked. Its been a wild ride since the last post.... Full of CHANGE and times of feeling incredibly SENTIMENTAL!
This describes the last couple of months - in a teeny, tiny nutshell.
I realized the other day that its been a quarter of a year since my last post and I was quite shocked. Its been a wild ride since the last post.... Full of CHANGE and times of feeling incredibly SENTIMENTAL!
Isn't it crazy how one can dream and work for that dream and when it actually comes down to realizing it, it dawns upon you that in reality there will be a whole lot more pain involved than imagined? The weekend before Christmas, our dreams were realized and we moved into our new abode, or shall we say began to move. The weekend was crazy enough to begin with, with having overnight guests and our family being in charge of the Sunday morning service. So we only got the necessities moved. That Saturday, as we worked to move our things, I began to feel so incredibly sentimental and actually wishing that we wouldn't have to move. Why? My identity included this house (not the new one), sharing a bedroom with 4 sisters (not just one), having only one bathroom to the entire family (not four bathrooms), a tiny hallway of a kitchen (not a massive one, where one must open countless doors and drawers to find a single item)... In general, living in incredibly tight quarters with nine other people (not having so much room that one can hole up in a room and not be missed or stumbled upon).
Bottom line was {I. Was. Experiencing. A. Major. Identity. Crisis.}
You may say - Well find your identity in Christ. And indeed that's what should have happened - It didn't. Was I too busy to hear God's voice? Probably... But even when I tried to get away from all the hustle and bustle and distractions and clear my head, God didn't rush in a instantly give me a sense of peace. He allowed me to struggle and it was good for me.
I should have been rejoicing and enjoying myself to the fullest to having a life-long dream come to past, but I felt like I was falling into a swirling blackness that was engulfing me. I felt so unworthy. I mean seriously, here we are one family and God is giving us our dream. But what about the family just up the road that can barely make ends meet? Or the elderly couple (also up the road) that have severe health problems? Or the family in Central America that was robbed recently and is experiencing emotional trauma? Or that family that is still living in incredibly tight quarters? You get the picture. So instead of rejoicing that weekend, I wrestled with this.
That Sunday, God gave me a picture of part of the reason why He gave this to us. After lunch we came home and were sitting around the living room with all kinds of friends. And I looked around at all the people and realized that we are now more responsible with how we use this house, especially in the area of hosting people.
This wasn't the first time I wondered if it was all really worth it. It took us over a year and a half to build it, doing most of the work ourselves. It put a huge strain on the family especially the last six months, with deadlines and everyone was just tired of the mess and stress. Certain members of the family felt like all they did in their spare time was work on the house, others felt like things weren't moving fast enough. And in our family we tend to be rather vocal about things like this, at times. But, we made it through those hard months and came out on the other end a stronger family! <another reason for God giving this dream to us>
God allows us to go through those rough times so that we become stronger people. We are able to see more clearly after the storm has passed, then when we are in the midst of it.
The weekend after moving we celebrated Christmas - or most people did. We had family over and the whole nine yards, yet it didn't feel like Christmas at all and in a way we just plain missed Christmas 2011. How can one get in the holiday spirit when packing up and moving and getting settled in right over that time?
The next weekend we had our 'House/Yard Sale'. So we put a tremendous amount of work to finish sorting, moving and then finally organizing and pricing everything. At 7:30 Friday morning the first people pulled in and by 8:30 most of the doors were spoken for along with numerous other items. We had a profitable sale even though we hauled off a BUNCH of stuff to Share and Care in Holmes County. Its quite a freeing feeling to get rid of so much stuff - you try it!
Less than a week after the house sale, Debra left for a term of service at Hillcrest. My closest sister, the one I would stay up late into the night talking with... Well, lets just say we have A LOT of history!:)
The following weekend Debra came home and we tore down our old house. It was sad, but also so final. I no longer had to stand the sight of it sitting vacant the wind blowing right through it, snow piling up inside etc. It was no longer home and would never again be home. It was time. Even now a month later, we occasionally see a bit of smoke coming from the pit that holds the ashes that once was our home.
In the months following the move, we have settled into a routine and this new place is becoming home. Even though sometimes I drive down the road after a night out and expect to see the old house sitting out near the road, with a lamp illuminating the windows in the living room and the new house sitting behind it dark and still. But that doesn't happen very often, thankfully.
Each person has a way of dealing with incredibly stressful times. For me the months from October through December of last year are a blur. I remember little of what all happened during that time. Sometimes I wish for the memories to come back, but then I get a glimpse of what we went through and I'm glad i can't remember. With time, I hope the good memories will separate themselves from the bad and I'll be able to remember them.
To those of you going through a storm right now... Hold On and Don't Give Up!!! In the end you will see that it did much good. God has your ultimate good in mind, not necessarily your current level of comfort.
ALL things work TOGETHER for GOOD to them that LOVE God, to them who are the CALLED according to His purpose... Romans 8:28
Have a week filled with God's presence and the knowledge that 'He will NEVER leave you, or forsake you'...
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
U.n.c.o.m.m.o.n.W.e.e.k.
Its been crazy.
Full of lots of things.
With a few uncommon (I do hope this is a word. If not I just made it one.) happenings.
#1: I ate some rather juicy words (they were quite filling and chewy - let me tell ya). You see once upon a time I made so rather strong statements on the fact that I would NEVER EVER own a GPS. Yes, you saw right. I've never gotten along with them and a map seemed to like me much better. Maps made me feel adventurous and independent. GPS' made me feel very dependent and I always had this niggling feeling when I was around them that they were not in the least trustworthy. I couldn't figure them out and thought they were SO stupid because I saw people depending on them for their very breath (or so it seemed). Once upon a time when my sister, two of our cousins and myself went on a trip to VA (we were in at least four different communities that particular weekend) without a GPS some woman thought we were so underprivileged to not have one of those crazy things. This only scratches the surface on my former feelings for those beasts. I'm sure you guessed it - I began to feel 'underprivileged' (well maybe not that much). After a particularly frustrating weekend with too many people in too many vehicles with far too few GPS' (when we actually needed them). I decided its time I give in and get myself one and I did. I now have a grudging respect of the little monster. Mapping out a trip is so much more worthwhile for those of you who don't. i DARE you to leave your GPS at home and map a trip sometime and feel the JOY of ACCOMPLISHMENT! :D
#2: This last weekend was a blast traveling by myself! I loved the lack of schedule and the fact that I could go drive around a strange city for the kicks without having to worry about others in the same vehicle ('knowing' that they were wishing that they wouldn't have come with such a crazy person).
#3: I was in Lancaster two weekends in a row. It made me feel like its time to go see some other scenery. No offence to those living there, I do honestly like it out there a whole lot more than some other places I won't mention.
#4: Lesson learned - never drive through a city in the dead of night listening to a creepy book on CD. Believe me that will be the time the GPS decides to take you smack dab, through the middle of the warehouse section of the city. I'm not normally freaked out, but that night I was...
#5: I parallel parked without help and made it into a tight space on the first try!!! In the same city the I mentioned in #4 (it happened to be York, PA). By the time I pulled up my nerves were rather taut and I honestly didn't think I could do it. I must say that after I accomplished this large feat I hopped out of the car, with a smug grin, and feeling like I could overcome the world if I tried (I didn't if you're wondering). For those of you who don't know, I detest parallel parking and avoid it at all costs - this one was unavoidable.
Tonight, I'm feeling strange. Its a good thing since its a strange brand of cheerful - I'll enjoy it awhile (I probably bought it along with my wood at Home Depot). I wish I'd have someone with me that could enjoy this strangeness with me, because I'm sure we'd do a good deal of laughing.
#6: Shopping - I went shopping tonight. I enjoyed it! I saw this awesome office chair that I want - its white, leathery, silver arm rests etc. It costs way too much though so I'll need to go with the boringer black models - I guess.
-I nearly bought myself a treadmill. When that word is mentioned (treadmill), I feel so much healthier and then I want to go eat some good gooey chocolate brownies to work off that healthy feeling. Just kidding (some of it) ;)
#7: My new favorite store is Lowe's. Why? you might ask... Well, I love the feeling of immenseness that the store gives you as soon as you walk in. Makes one want to walk around with mouth hanging open, gauking at everything. They also have great customer service.
May all of you be blessed with a strange sort of cheerfulness!
Toodles to one and all...
P.S. Stay posted for photos from a wedding that I shot recently!
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Are we missing the point?
On Monday, I was on the way home from Lancaster and was nearly home. So I decided to stop and fill up with gas even though I had nearly a 3/4 tank left. As I pulled in I noticed a man standing beside the street. He was dressed in shabby clothing, and was holding a cardboard sign which I'm sure you can guess what it said. I noticed that his belongings were stuffed into a bag which lay at his feet. It hit me that here I am filling up a nice vehicle with gas (when I really don't need to), when this man is in need. He can't call many people his friends (if any) and I'm coming home from a long weekend of hanging out with some of my friends. I had taken a week and a half off of work - by choice - and I'm sure he would have been happy to have even a small job. I have been given the gift salvation and am blessed with a wonderful group of people to call my home community, and he doesn't even know Jesus as his own - he doesn't belong to a community that cares about him.
Have we really missed the point of why we live here? Is it really God's purpose for us live our lives isolated to the point that we aren't touched by those living in deep need around us? Somehow I don't think this is what God is calling us to.
He calls us to live radically. To give all to Him - even when it is incredibly painful. When I can't imagine giving up something it is obvious that I need to give it up because it is holding me back from serving God fully. Living radically looks different for everyone. I look at others and think they are so radical and sold out for God and wish I could do that. But God's picture of how I should live radically for Him looks totally different! Our calling is tailor made for each of us, it is for us to make the decision of whether we want to accept or not. Its something that scares the livin' begeebers outta me, but if I accept my Father's invitation He will take me on the ride of my life. It won't be the most pleasant ride but God isn't interested in my comfort, because its my comfort that hinders me. He is more interested in my growth. A friend once told me, 'life begins at the end of your comfort zone'.
Our culture teaches us to enjoy living in our padded little boxes, when God doesn't want us to be living in those boxes. We need to begin to focus on those around us (outside of our culture) instead of focusing on ourselves and the problems we have. We need to stop squabbling about what we should or shouldn't allow and begin to search God's face on how He feels about these things (dress, standards, etc). We must quit focusing on whether we have a nicer vehicle than others around us. We need to focus on what God has called us to, we need to focus on a relationship with our Father instead of focusing on things that bring us no spiritual fulfillment. Our culture has some really good things that we should never lose, but I do believe that we need to go back to the Bible and re-evaluate what our true purpose is here on earth.
This is a subject that I've been pondering for a while and this past weekend it felt like it all came together. It was amazing! Let me tell you about it...
I was at a 4th term tour reunion in GA and I fully expected to go down there and have a party. To begin with it took a bit to get back into my old groove of being goofy and I was rather annoyed at myself. Then it came I was living it up and really enjoying myself. About half ways through the weekend i began to feel really unfulfilled and longed for a good long chat with one of my friends there. That night I cried out to God and asked Him very specifically for the chat and that He would show me my purpose for being there. The next morning God answered the prayer beyond what I was even expecting (my expectations really weren't high). I did end up have an amazing chat with my friend about some of the things that I've been thinking about for a while specifically about living radically. Something she kept saying was 'its all about relationship with Jesus Christ'. We talked about how it would be so much easier if we'd have someones steps to follow, but that is not what God wants of us. He wants us to trust Him completely and to make a path where no one else has been. As I was involved in the conversation, I suddenly realized that this is why I was there. It was so amazing I nearly got goosebumps.
Later that afternoon our choir director expanded on the very thing we had been talking about - another WOW moment! Something he said really hit me... 'There is a part of us that longs to be fulfilled and the only way it will be is by spiritual connection with others.' Then it hit me that, that was what I had been longing for was this very thing. I had been longing for it more because at one point I had a strong spiritual connection with this very group.
God does hear our longings, our cries. Later I was pondering this and realized that the more my will becomes like God's, the more my requests will line up with His will, which will result in answers to prayer and will build my faith and make me long for a deeper relationship with my Father. Its an amazing cycle and a journey I'm embarking on.
God has shown me a different part of Himself in the last several weeks. A while back I had been offered a job in downtown Cambridge at a general store. I sent in my resume fully expecting not to work there because the pay wasn't the best and it was only a 1 day a week job and I didn't really want to break up my schedule any. Several weeks past and I next to forgot about. Then there was a day when I decided to cut back to 4 days a week at my current job because I couldn't handle working at home as much as I was and some other major things were happening to to contribute to this decision. The following day I got an email wondering if I'd still be interested in the job. The timing was beyond perfect and had God's fingerprints all over it. It makes me so excited all over again. Two weeks ago I worked my first day and I'm back in today again and I enjoy the slowness and time by myself. It blows me away how God saw a need a provided it even when I didn't realize the need existed. God is amazing!
There are some people that I thought of that are currently living a radical life - a life fully committed to God and His plan for their lives. 1) My dear cousin Lynita: A while back she had bought a car and soon realized that she couldn't drive it because she had a very weak ankle and the car was manual. So she was using her parents car in the mean time. She began praying that God would provide a buyer for her car and decided that she would allow God to provide the buyer without her doing anything of her own. She realized that she wouldn't be able to sell it since one of her friends had taken it to Indiana and she wasn't sure when she would get it back. Shortly after this her friend in Indiana called her and said that she would like to buy her car. This friend had gone through a period of waiting for her Dad to give her his blessing to buy this specific vehicle. So it was a done deal. With her car sold, Lynita began waiting for God to provide a vehicle for her before school started again (she's a school teacher in Indiana and is from Ohio). There was one car that she had dreamed of owning for 2 years, but it didn't seem like it would work out since the current owners needed it. This time she was more nervous about it since selling her car had been a deal between her and God and she had more people watching as she waited for God to provide a car. I don't know the exact time period here, but after a while she was offered the car she had dreamed of owning and she bought it. God is so amazing how He works and He must get the glory for all of this! Its been amazing to see this journey that God has been taking her on. God is being glorified in her life!
2) kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com This a lady that's my age serving God in Africa. She has an amazing calling and has been an inspiration to many including me. Check out her blog to hear about her story.
Let's be open to hear God's voice and to obey when the call comes even if it isn't comfortable. Let us pursue a vibrant relationship with our Father, because that's what life is all about anyways! Our lives will change if we pursue Him with every breath we have.
We do not segment our lives, giving some time to God, some to our businesses or schooling, while keeping parts to ourselves. The idea is to live all of our lives in the presence of God, under the authority of God, and for the honor and glory of God. That is what the Christian life is about. -R.C. Sproul
Are we missing the point? This is a question you must answer for yourself in complete honesty - a question you must grapple with and apply to your individual life.
Have we really missed the point of why we live here? Is it really God's purpose for us live our lives isolated to the point that we aren't touched by those living in deep need around us? Somehow I don't think this is what God is calling us to.
He calls us to live radically. To give all to Him - even when it is incredibly painful. When I can't imagine giving up something it is obvious that I need to give it up because it is holding me back from serving God fully. Living radically looks different for everyone. I look at others and think they are so radical and sold out for God and wish I could do that. But God's picture of how I should live radically for Him looks totally different! Our calling is tailor made for each of us, it is for us to make the decision of whether we want to accept or not. Its something that scares the livin' begeebers outta me, but if I accept my Father's invitation He will take me on the ride of my life. It won't be the most pleasant ride but God isn't interested in my comfort, because its my comfort that hinders me. He is more interested in my growth. A friend once told me, 'life begins at the end of your comfort zone'.
Our culture teaches us to enjoy living in our padded little boxes, when God doesn't want us to be living in those boxes. We need to begin to focus on those around us (outside of our culture) instead of focusing on ourselves and the problems we have. We need to stop squabbling about what we should or shouldn't allow and begin to search God's face on how He feels about these things (dress, standards, etc). We must quit focusing on whether we have a nicer vehicle than others around us. We need to focus on what God has called us to, we need to focus on a relationship with our Father instead of focusing on things that bring us no spiritual fulfillment. Our culture has some really good things that we should never lose, but I do believe that we need to go back to the Bible and re-evaluate what our true purpose is here on earth.
This is a subject that I've been pondering for a while and this past weekend it felt like it all came together. It was amazing! Let me tell you about it...
I was at a 4th term tour reunion in GA and I fully expected to go down there and have a party. To begin with it took a bit to get back into my old groove of being goofy and I was rather annoyed at myself. Then it came I was living it up and really enjoying myself. About half ways through the weekend i began to feel really unfulfilled and longed for a good long chat with one of my friends there. That night I cried out to God and asked Him very specifically for the chat and that He would show me my purpose for being there. The next morning God answered the prayer beyond what I was even expecting (my expectations really weren't high). I did end up have an amazing chat with my friend about some of the things that I've been thinking about for a while specifically about living radically. Something she kept saying was 'its all about relationship with Jesus Christ'. We talked about how it would be so much easier if we'd have someones steps to follow, but that is not what God wants of us. He wants us to trust Him completely and to make a path where no one else has been. As I was involved in the conversation, I suddenly realized that this is why I was there. It was so amazing I nearly got goosebumps.
Later that afternoon our choir director expanded on the very thing we had been talking about - another WOW moment! Something he said really hit me... 'There is a part of us that longs to be fulfilled and the only way it will be is by spiritual connection with others.' Then it hit me that, that was what I had been longing for was this very thing. I had been longing for it more because at one point I had a strong spiritual connection with this very group.
God does hear our longings, our cries. Later I was pondering this and realized that the more my will becomes like God's, the more my requests will line up with His will, which will result in answers to prayer and will build my faith and make me long for a deeper relationship with my Father. Its an amazing cycle and a journey I'm embarking on.
God has shown me a different part of Himself in the last several weeks. A while back I had been offered a job in downtown Cambridge at a general store. I sent in my resume fully expecting not to work there because the pay wasn't the best and it was only a 1 day a week job and I didn't really want to break up my schedule any. Several weeks past and I next to forgot about. Then there was a day when I decided to cut back to 4 days a week at my current job because I couldn't handle working at home as much as I was and some other major things were happening to to contribute to this decision. The following day I got an email wondering if I'd still be interested in the job. The timing was beyond perfect and had God's fingerprints all over it. It makes me so excited all over again. Two weeks ago I worked my first day and I'm back in today again and I enjoy the slowness and time by myself. It blows me away how God saw a need a provided it even when I didn't realize the need existed. God is amazing!
There are some people that I thought of that are currently living a radical life - a life fully committed to God and His plan for their lives. 1) My dear cousin Lynita: A while back she had bought a car and soon realized that she couldn't drive it because she had a very weak ankle and the car was manual. So she was using her parents car in the mean time. She began praying that God would provide a buyer for her car and decided that she would allow God to provide the buyer without her doing anything of her own. She realized that she wouldn't be able to sell it since one of her friends had taken it to Indiana and she wasn't sure when she would get it back. Shortly after this her friend in Indiana called her and said that she would like to buy her car. This friend had gone through a period of waiting for her Dad to give her his blessing to buy this specific vehicle. So it was a done deal. With her car sold, Lynita began waiting for God to provide a vehicle for her before school started again (she's a school teacher in Indiana and is from Ohio). There was one car that she had dreamed of owning for 2 years, but it didn't seem like it would work out since the current owners needed it. This time she was more nervous about it since selling her car had been a deal between her and God and she had more people watching as she waited for God to provide a car. I don't know the exact time period here, but after a while she was offered the car she had dreamed of owning and she bought it. God is so amazing how He works and He must get the glory for all of this! Its been amazing to see this journey that God has been taking her on. God is being glorified in her life!
2) kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com This a lady that's my age serving God in Africa. She has an amazing calling and has been an inspiration to many including me. Check out her blog to hear about her story.
Let's be open to hear God's voice and to obey when the call comes even if it isn't comfortable. Let us pursue a vibrant relationship with our Father, because that's what life is all about anyways! Our lives will change if we pursue Him with every breath we have.
We do not segment our lives, giving some time to God, some to our businesses or schooling, while keeping parts to ourselves. The idea is to live all of our lives in the presence of God, under the authority of God, and for the honor and glory of God. That is what the Christian life is about. -R.C. Sproul
Are we missing the point? This is a question you must answer for yourself in complete honesty - a question you must grapple with and apply to your individual life.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
On Summer and Contentment
So the bottom line is - I LOVE SUMMER!!! I love the warmth/heat (sometimes), fruits and veggies (I feel very health-minded writing this), the abundance of flowers, swimming, flip-flops, long evening, and the list could go on and on... Oh yeah, and foggy, cool summer mornings:)
I did have much fun shooting these melons, they were so photogenic as most fruit can be.
A recent search at the local goodwill yielded this lovely glass 'fish' bowl. The first thing I envisioned was a whole pile of flowers in it. So I brought it home rinsed the dust off it and promptly went to pick my flowers. Thankfully this time the bouquet turned out basically like I had envisioned it, unlike previous attempts to arrange flowers. Yes, this thing is HUGE and I ended up sticking over 20 stems of hydrangeas into it to fill it up. Below you can see the finished product as it graces our table.
Moving on... Contentment: What does it look like? Its something that looks different for everyone. This summer I've been on a journey of FINDING it. This summer is only a chapter in my life, but its also a very important chapter because of the lessons learned.
While I was at SMBI, God showed me very clearly that He was calling me to be at home. There was no one moment that I can point to and say 'that was God telling me that He's calling me to be at home'. No, it was more a gradual awakening. I think especially of 4th term tour to Mexico (to those of you who don't know we were gone nearly a month). While on tour I missed my family like I had never before missed them and sometimes it was to the point of just quitting tour and going home. Those of you who know me very well, know that I'm a very independent sort of person and that I very rarely struggle with homesickness. But this time was BAD!!! Is it impossible for God to make a person like me homesick? Absolutely not! I'm sure it was Him. By the time I got home, I was so ready just to be with my family. But in the months following those feelings began to fade and well lets just say that I became very discontent with were I was in life. Believe me EVERY mission opportunity started to look appealing (that's a bit abnormal, not?). And can you guess what happened? Yes, God slammed every single door. For some odd reason every time, it didn't feel like it was the right timing. Slowly, it began sinking into my thick skull that God did indeed call me to be at home.
One morning on my way to work (which happens to be a very short walk). :D I remembered something that I had heard a while back: being discontented is telling God that I know where I need to be and that He doesn't know better. That pretty much stopped me short in my tracks. Then to top it off I happened to read the story of Joseph in my devotions. Well believe it or not some things started to fall into place. While I was reading, God seemed to be saying, ' look here and see what I did in Joseph's life. I had him go down to Egypt and while he was waiting on me do act, he didn't sit around twiddling his thumbs. He was very productive right where I had him, even though I waited years before he became Pharoah's right-hand-man.' That was when I realized that there has got to be a higher purpose for being called to be at home.
I am currently enjoying being at home. My focus has changed from where I can go serve God elsewhere, to learning to serve God right where He has me. And I'm beginning to see a bit of God's reason for having me here: being at home while a HUGE dream of our family's is being fulfilled in building a house and working on relationships here and in the church and youth group. I'm still very human and make mistakes, but that's the beauty of serving such an awesome God because He never gives up on me. And recently I told God that He is in charge of finding somewhere else for me to serve, in His time. So I'm back to the waiting, but this time I hope to be productive in the waiting.
Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.
-Maria Robinson
Bless you all as you live fulfilled, fruitful lives right where God has placed you!
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Week 3: And The Relatives Came
Here I sit thoughts rolling through my mind... So much stuff to do, so many things calling for my attention, but here I am blogging, when in fact I should be editing pictures from the wedding last weekend, practicing music for a wedding that's coming up in a month, painting, etc. I do love summer and the busyness it brings though. This summer is particularly busy because of building our house. Right now we're smack dab in the middle of painting. The primer should get done tonight and the paint will be here and waiting once we get back from gallivanting across the countryside this weekend.
This was an attempt to see what our (Debs n my) bedroom colors should look like. Yes indeed, it was a major fail! The purple, well, is far too purple. You'd think the name 'Concord Grape' would clue us into what it should look like :P Thankfully, we only got samples and so it shall be easy to change.
Hmmm, So many colors to choose from!!! Yes, that's how we felt at the beginning. Now most of the colors are picked out, just a few more to go.
Now to things pertaining to the title...
Yes, this year was our Lapp 'Christmas' gathering in July. My uncle and his family from Belize were up for a month and so aunts, uncles, and cousins came from near and far, making it possible that Dad's whole family could be together for the first time in two years.
The weekend of July 4 was the weekend chosen for the relatives to descend upon us. They came from near and they came from far. They came from Missouri and Pennsylvania. Yes, we relatives from here were pleased to see them and immediately there was much talking and laughing. Many good times were had! Some of the relatives stayed the following week, where they busied themselves with shopping in Holmes County, planning a surprise 40th birthday party for one of the aunts, cleaning our new house, and many other activities. Their presence created much activity for the family from Antrim. But they had a wonderful time of catching up in each others' lives 'n things. Nearly two weeks after all the activity began everyone departed and traveled to their respective homes in Pennsylvania, Missouri, and Belize. Everyone was sad to see them leave, yet ready for life to return back to normal.
Yes, I claim this family as my own and I do love them all! It was indeed a wonderful time of chilling with the family! Now for a few pictures...
Rosemary & Japheth
Two peas in a pod! (Katie & Ashley
Darius
Madison
Katie
Moises
I do believe he is the cutest little cousin around!!!
Arlin, Japheth, Madison & Katie
I would like to see all the videos that were taken.
And another one of Mr. Adorable again
May your week be filled with peace!
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Week 2: Blessings
The week after family week was filled to the brim with activity. Along with working full-time I had the privilege of spending time with several good friends. The first being in the beginning of the week with a lady from church. I went to her place where we sat on her front porch and caught up on each others' lives. It had been something we both wanted to do for a while and we finally got it accomplished!:D Its always so refreshing to find out that someone I've known for all my life is a kindred spirit. Carolyn, thanks so much for the amazing evening!
I also spent a day with a good friend from Bible school, Emily. She's from Colorado and was in visiting her boyfriend in Plain City. So I went out to Columbus and we spent the day together. We hit a thrift store, went to lunch at a very adorable cafe in the middle of the awesomeness of German Village. This is a part of Columbus that I never knew existed until just earlier this year - let me tell you about it. Its basically in the shadow of downtown right across the interstate from downtown. Nearly everything is brick - the houses, streets, walls, and sidewalks. Most houses have such incredibly cute (from what I could see from the sidewalk that is) English style gardens behind them. There's also this bookstore in that part of town that spans a full block (no we didn't venture inside - which I dare say was a good thing). The cafe in itself was totally cool (the one we went to eat at:). Most of their seating is outside under these cool umbrellas. We had sparrows as companions some of the time. The food was tremendous and I hope to be back. The best part of it was sitting there and catching up on each other's lives! We then went to the largest shopping center in Columbus. The crazy man that tried to sell Em some nail jazz, the HUGE bag that we could have BOTH fit in, and trying on many strange and wonderful sunglasses made for a very memorable time. It was super seeing you again, Em!
Then for the weekend. One of my dormies from SMBI got married and so it was a good old fashioned SMBI hangout! The girls all got a cabin and the guys well, they had a cabin the first night and the second night they had a church lawn (until the town cop came and they had to crawl into their vehicle and spend the rest of the night there). Here are some pictures from the wedding n' things:)
This would be my dorm from 3rd term and what wonderful dorm it was!!!!:)
Our dorm w/extended dormies and our dear Pappa:D
Yay, I get to see this dear lady this weekend!!!
Yeah never know what will happen when we hang out!
Much laughage is done!
The happy dean couple
Singing Cominando Voy
Oh, yes there was much love in the air!
The guys graciously provided supper for us Saturday night
US = good times!
The HUGE watermelon the guys got for supper
I'm so blessed with many wonderful people that I call my FRIENDS! Thank you for your friendship!
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